From Here On Known as Soco.

I was asked again by an old friend what my post-gradutation plans were.
Embarassingly, I again had to say I have no idea.
He is going to UVA,
on a full ride,
for his Master's in Roman Art.
I am so happy for him.
I am so disappointed in myself.
I feel so directionless,
and lost and I don't know what to do anymore.
I came up with a plan,
but I don't have confidence in myself to pull it all off.
How utterly frustrating!



Aside from my real life woes,
I had a nice, distracting weekend.
Friday we had a Hullabaloo Fair.
There was a hot dog eating contest.
Eight guys participated.
Winner at 9 hotdogs in 4 minutes.
Gross.
But...it was highly entertaining.

Cecilia turned 19 this weekend.
So we bought a bottle of Southern Comfort,
from here out known as Soco.
Had about 5 Soco and Lime shots,
played some Uno,
and then went out to Brunos.

New Bruno's first.
Some dart, Chris won.
Then Old Bruno's.
After a Corona and 2 Margaritas,
we were properly lit.
Played some pool,
took goofy pictures.
Damnit, I am breaking out like crazy!
I need my body to chill out.

As though that is possible these days.
Between worrying about post-graduation life,
unsuccessfully following weight watchers,
and the mountain of school work I have this semester,
my body doesn't know the meaning of relaxation anymore.

I am reading Eat Pray Love
by Elizabeth Gilbert currently.
It is amazing.
In it she writes about meditation in the ashram in India.
I need to try meditation.
I need time to clear my head.
Which is why, almost not having a plan post-graduation,
may be my saving grace.
I'm trying to spin this...
let me be as delusional I a want!



Ok...well what is not a delusion is the first draft of my 20 page paper due manana!
Time to focus...it's carnival time.
Well my paper is on the spectacle known as Mardi Gras,
too bad analyzing it destroys all happiness surrounding the event.
Once you realize the racist undertones,
and what a celebration of the elite it is,
it's a bit of a buzz kill.

Presentation tomorrow.
So happy to be done.
I notice when I'm stressed,
my creative juices flow more.
I crave writing, and painting,
and photography.

My goal for the next two weeks is to center myself.
I am going home,
catching up with Andrew,
seeing my entire giant Cuban family,
getting my wisdom teeth pulled out,
back to school shopping,
and collecting my thoughts and ideas.

I need clarity and definition.
I need to focus on what my goals are,
and how I'm truly going to achieve them.
I will further elaborate on this,
when I personally have them straight.

I am happy to go home.
My teeth hurt!!!!
I hate wisdom teeth.
I'm actually looking forward to this surgery!!
Crazy.



Summer needs to come to an end.
I feel disappointed and in worse shape than I began.
Sadly,
from this dispair,
I feel inspired,
I understand why artists must be tortured to truly make art.

Cheer Up.

Its been a few days.
They haven't been crazy,
but they have been plenty busy.
Saturday I went to lunch with Jess at Zea's Rotisserie.
VERY good.
The prices for dinner may not be worth it,
but for lunch it was a great meal.
I had veal with sweat snap peas
and buttered sweet potato!
YUMMY...just writing about it makes me want some now!

Currently I'm waiting to do behavior and inject some ratty rats.
Yuck!

Then after lunch Jess and I saw
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.
LOVED it!!!
SO much better than the other movies.
I liked it so much I went with Katy and Haylie
to try and see it at the IMAX theater in Covington.
Unfortunately the IMAX showing was sold out.
Boo.

But we saw it on the regular screen again,
which I didn't mind so much.
I really liked it!
It was dark and intense.
I'm so glad the kids are growing up.
Rupert Grint was pretty cute too!
I hadn't really noticed him before.

Before:


After:

I couldn't find a very good pic online...:-(

There are also more nuiances to the film
Now I can't wait for the 7th book!
Though I may just need to skip to 6 and read fast.
I've been really bad about just picking up the books.
Plus I've been busy too.

I'm trying to finish up the first batch of
secondary applications.
Seriously, the University of Minnesota has 12 questions!
I mean...come on!
But New Jersey only had two, so I went ahead and got that one done.
I just need to reread and get the courage to turn it in.

I did those Saturday afternoon.
At this point Ashley had come in.
She stayed with me that night
and then we moved her in to her new place Sunday.
Then we moved her into her new new place Monday.
But I was treated to Baskin Robbins...woot woot.

Though weird things happened.
We were sitting outside Baskins
and a couple approached us.
They were asking for money,
wife had surgery,
kicked out of brother's house,
need $27 for a motel.

I think in the past I would have ignored them.
But I've been on a social justice kick.
And even if they were lying,
to put your pride aside and ask,
they probably really needed it.
I gave them the $7 in my wallet.

Even now, part of me is thinking,
why?
But even if I was taken advantage of,
atleast I feel like a decent person for trying to take care of our society.
Now I am bummed out.
I can't wait to finish these rats.

I'm supposed to get together with Jenny tonight.
Which means no reading today.
Argh! I love seeing everyone and having a life,
but I am such a loner!!!
I think if I had just had one afternoon this weeekend
I wouldn't be feeling quite so edgey.
Plus work doesn't make me any happier.

So all my Rainbow Brite stuff here...is to make me happy!
Because I feel more like Stormy.


I want to feel like this:



Toooo funny...and perfect!
She could SOOOOOO make that movie!
And I would totally buy a ticket!!!