Oh man, I've been such a good student. I worked all Saturday and Sunday and today. I'm tired and I still have two paper assignments, and sub training starts tomorrow!
Excited to have a life again, starting to feel my stress level rising, but so far everything is still clear. I realize how fuzzy my head was the last two years at Tulane. I seem to learn everything simply, Things just organize themselves in my head.
For example, this weekend before I met my partner to discuss our Inquiry Lesson on cellular respiration I reviewed cellular respiration. I knew it all. i knew all the details. Learned it in five minutes!!!!! I mean I nearly failed biochemistry and here I am memorizing this in five minutes and thinking its easy!
Ah, life in reflection. How frustrating!
Went to the car dealership today and they replaced my tag that they screwed up. I felt like such a grown up. The car guy was pretty cute, he's a young guy, a bit dopey actually, but very sweet. I need to learn how to make friends with random people. New Rule.
So, here's where I stand. 1. James bond Party tomorrow - Vicki's sweet 16, I'm excited...mocktails, poker, assassin, formal wear and photos...it should be a pretty awesome house party! That is IF I can pull this off by tomorrow. I have been so swamped this week I haven't had a chance to do anything. In addition to basic party stuff like food, cake, drinks I'm also making "missions" for the kids to accomplish, and I need to come up with prizes. Also decorating! We have a casino area, bar area, living room with movies and sexy lady silhouettes and a mini photo studio!!! phew! Tomorrow is going to be a loong day!
2.Way too many assignments - For my Teaching Biology course we have to come up with Inquiry based lessons...so I'm meeting with my classmate Sunday. Trying to figure out a simple way to explain cellular respiration. HA! Just a recap for those who forgot about this lovely nonesense from bio.
- For the same course I have a presentation this week on an important scientist. Naturally I chose Stanley Prusiner, a prion researcher. I think prions are so fascinating, but I made this 10 times more difficult for myself by choosing an obscure topic that I have to explain. -And my Teaching and Management Philosophy is also due next week. Luckily I did about half, but that still leaves me with some work to do! - AND another random assignment for my adolescent learner course...gahh!!! Everything is going so fast.
3. Substitute Training - Yea, that's three days next week! Can't wait for 3 days of work, without pay when I'm swamped by assignments! Though now I'll be able to work. I am sure I can handle it all. I've done way more in the past. It's just I'm so relaxed now. Without going into details its like my body has recovered. I'm in tune with the moon so to speak (ladies get my drift). I sort of don't recognize my face without bags and I'm definitely getting to know myself better. Hopefully I can maintain what I've learned on sabatical.
4. Tutoring -Took on a tutoring client. She's very sweet, I meet her twice a week, but I recently found out she may not be as forthcoming about her grades and problem areas as I initially thought. I'm almost wishing I hadn't taken her as a client. Especially this week, I'm feeling swamped.
5. Dating - Not quite as busy like when I was seeing 3 guys at the same time this summer, but seeing someone. Don't know what I'm thinking. It's completely impractical. I know I don't have time for it this week. This is always my problem. No time, always thinking of whether it will work long term (which I know this wouldn't). I'm trying to break my own patterns, at least for fun's sake. I just don't know, don't know, don't know.
This is what I got when I googled fun...how silly!
But yea, so that's what's going on, and I feel better. Time to partaaayy!
It's official...I'm a dork. I am a 22 year old, who loves young adult fiction!
Harry Potter was masked since I started reading it as a 13 year old. However,the Twilight series is a different story.
I started reading it while hanging out at Borders. Since I will start substituting in two weeks, my unemployment time is numbered. Thank god! SO I finally decided to relax and enjoy myself. Hence, cuaght up in a teen vampire romance.
I am now officially a fan. I have read the first 3 books, Twilight, New Moon and Eclipse. There is a 4th book out, and then I will be waiting till the next book party!
In the meantime, I found out there is a movie version of Twilight coming out. I can't wait!!!!!!! Here is the official trailer, and I am so excited!
The book features a dreamy vampire named Edward Cullen. The heroine, Bella isn't too bad either, but the guy in the movie gives me shivers. I can't wait!
Now I just need to find someone who will indulge my obsession for young adult fiction and go to the movies with me!
OH! I miss New Orleans. Not so much the city, but the life I lead there. I miss my friends, events, intellectual discussions. At times in school I was a bit dissatisfied by my seemingly low social life. I find it is even worse at home. I desperately want friends.
Not in a I'm lonely going to kill myself way, but in a need for physical companionship. I love the friends I made, and I am so thankful for the internet and IMs. But we all need human interaction. To see the familiar faces walking around campus. To be able to knock on someone's dorm room door just to hang out.
I miss not having those relationships anymore. Just like when I was in New Orleans I missed my familial relations. It is nice to be home and get to know my family again. My 15 year old sister is amazing. She reminds me so much of myself at that age, but she is brash and social and so many things I have always been envious of others about. I really adore her some days.
Debate tonight! Hence the desire to be at a bar. This could be such a fun night with friends! I learned at Tulane that politics can be fun. In the right context it shouldn't be nasty or an off the table topic. At home I can't speak about politics without my dad losing his cookies. I am so desperate for normal conversation!
The new season is in full swing! After a looong summer, made even longer by the writer's strike, my one true love (el television) is back!
So...here's the rundown so far on primetime. Dancing With the Stars (DWTS for future reference) Cloris! Cloris! Cloris! Old name, old lady. She is amazing, and I don't care if she can dance, I want her to win this trophy for sheer entertainment! Here is a clip of her ridiculous mambo... I think Corky Ballas is ready to retire, but at least he is playing up her humor factor.
Other highlights from DWTS include: Rocco DiSpirito...my new true love. So adorable! And sexy!
Kim Kardashian....she is like Princess Jasmine (like Samantha said) but she is like watching paint dry (like Mark said...) Her foxtrot was cute, but the mambo was bad... Though I give her props for dancing to the "I like big butts" As a woman with junk in the trunk, big props to her.
Warren Sapp: Grew up watching him play and trash talk for the Bucs. I just adore him! And he's so entertaining and likeable on the show. Fat boy can dance!
Misty May Tra...whatever...we all know I love Maks. He's hot, and she's pretty good. Also, does anybody else get the idea that Maks has a thing for her? They're totally gonna hook up, am I right?? I mean I got the same vibe from Mark and Sabrina a few seasons back.
Either that or Maks is just excited he might win.
Also on TV... Heroes. Wow, what an opening! I'm a little worried the show is going in too many branches. So I'm not even going to try and summarize. Suresh now has hunky powers, except his skin is falling off. And Mama Petreli as Sylar's mom??? Say what???
Biggest Loser. I was pro-yellow team until last night when the cocky girl bet they could lose 14 lbs on week two. Otherwise, this show is great as far as inspiring my personal weight loss goals. I've been lax lately, and I have no excuses. I no longer live in a dorm, I have a kitchen. I have access to a school gym (not as close anymore, but still) So BL is good for my BB(Big Booty!) And I just love the weigh ins AND ROCCO DISPIRITO was on last night's show!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He was on primetime TV competing with himself! So adorable, so adorable, so flippin' adorable!
Opportunity Knocks. Cute family oriented game show, kind of a filler show.
How I Met Your Mother. Love this show! Marshall is kind of annoying me and does need a job...hmm that strikes close to home!haha! He also needs a hair cut. I'm thinking Stella is the mom, they have such great chemistry! Robin and Barney are great. Neil Patrick Harris plays him brilliantly and I can't wait for them to get together. All I'm gonna say 3am: ? ! Brilliant :D
Worst Week. My dad really enjoyed this show so I thought it worth mentioning. I did not watch it. He was laughing the whole time from the other room, so I suspect it is some classic slapstick comedy.
Otherwise, it seems nothing new has really caught my fancy. Last season seemed to have much more "dramady" or chick TV. I guess we'll see where the season leads us!
So the two main things discussed in our household, and mostly because the TV news is on all the time are Hurricane Gustav and VP nomination of Palin. I'll start with her as she is the lesser of two evils. I really like her story, her being a woman in power. But her nomination is calculated, and would never have happened had it not been for Hillary Clinton. I don't believe she is the best qualified candidate. She has no foreign policy experience, as Obama's campaign has already noted. Unless removing caribou from your car is key qualification in VP candidate, I just don't see her as it.
Now....Gustav. Oh my poor New Orleans. I'm worried. Cuba, specifically Havana is screwed. We'll see the damage soon. Glad I'm not in the Grand Cayman Islands, where I would have been had I chosen to go to med school. And I can't believe I escaped Tulane just in time for round two.
Fingers crossed it hits Texas! Not that it will help much. Also...side note I've been thinking about,
I think she should run for president! Talk about a killer pair. I would be so proud to have her represent the US in an international market. And the little girls at the end are adorable.
I am very impressed and can't wait to hear Obama speak.
Saw Vicky Cristina Barcelona last night and it was fantastic. I really enjoyed it. It was a real spice of life kind of film, but it made me question and think about things. Particularly the nature of relationships, which I've been thinking about anyway.
Question...if anyone actually reads this blog... Can we love two people at the same time? or rather...are the traditions we impose on love worth it? It's questioned in the movie and there is certainly no right answer, but interesting to ponder upon. Maybe if I'm feeling brave I'll share my own views on this.
There were some other great thoughts on love in the movie. -Love is transient -We are meant for each other and not meant for each other. -Only unfulfilled love can be romantic.
Also...Javier Bardem...wow... hot hot hot...and the very Spanish character reminded me way too much of my dad.
Hot artist from across the room
VERY close up...it hard finding pics of him.
And Scarlett Johanson and Penelope Cruz weren't unhot either!
Oooh it's been a long summer. I wish I could say I haven't updated because I'm too busy working, but alas, this is not the case. I am unemployed, not in med school, and utterly miserable.
I was accepted into a med school in the Grand Cayman, and decided that I had a bad feeling about it. Now I'm home, unemployed, not in med school, and utterly miserable.
Well I'm not utterly miserable. I have a great family....clingy, but great. And I'm starting to loosen up. The things in my head are clearer. I haven't been stress free in a long while. It is taking some getting used to. Though I think it is doing a world of good for me.
I'm dating, meeting new people, and may actually be ready for a serious relationship. I'm working on getting hired as a teacher. Well I must get back to bumming around. Tata!
I am totally feeling this Estonian singer Kerli. She was featured on Perez Hilton, of course. But I really think she has potential. Yea she's kind of blonde Barbie-esque, and it is totally studio produced quirkiness, but I'm ok with it.
Here is the video for Walking on Air
I can't wait to hear the rest of her album!
Updates, updates, updates! Well I graduated!!!! Still have no idea what I'm doing, but I'm starting to be ok with that. It's actually really nice to be home. I've actually been able to focus on weight watchers. I'm taking daily walks... starting to build a bit of a tan in fact! My parents want a dog! Though I suspect this is a ploy to keep me home.
I'm looking at cars. Boy do I hate car shopping! They are so expensive and I really don't feel comfortable making a move until I know what my salary is going to look like. We shall see what I end up with.
So I need to update the blog too, as I no longer live in New Orleans. I'm actually ok with Tampa, for now that is. I'm trying to adjust, I think if I can make some friends and find activities that suit me, I might be alright.
I'm looking at ballroom dancing, I need to research book clubs. I know there is a knitting group that meets at Borders, I saw them once while on vacation. Wow, I am such a granny!
HOLY SHIT...I just google imaged granny and this is what came up!!
wicked.
Speaking of grannies, one of my new neighbors is a spitting image of my tiny colombian grandmother...except this lady is kind of a bitch...so I know lovingly refer to her in conversation as Nelly's Evil Twin.
I was asked again by an old friend what my post-gradutation plans were. Embarassingly, I again had to say I have no idea. He is going to UVA, on a full ride, for his Master's in Roman Art. I am so happy for him. I am so disappointed in myself. I feel so directionless, and lost and I don't know what to do anymore. I came up with a plan, but I don't have confidence in myself to pull it all off. How utterly frustrating!
Aside from my real life woes, I had a nice, distracting weekend. Friday we had a Hullabaloo Fair. There was a hot dog eating contest. Eight guys participated. Winner at 9 hotdogs in 4 minutes. Gross. But...it was highly entertaining.
Cecilia turned 19 this weekend. So we bought a bottle of Southern Comfort, from here out known as Soco. Had about 5 Soco and Lime shots, played some Uno, and then went out to Brunos.
New Bruno's first. Some dart, Chris won. Then Old Bruno's. After a Corona and 2 Margaritas, we were properly lit. Played some pool, took goofy pictures. Damnit, I am breaking out like crazy! I need my body to chill out.
As though that is possible these days. Between worrying about post-graduation life, unsuccessfully following weight watchers, and the mountain of school work I have this semester, my body doesn't know the meaning of relaxation anymore.
I am reading Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert currently. It is amazing. In it she writes about meditation in the ashram in India. I need to try meditation. I need time to clear my head. Which is why, almost not having a plan post-graduation, may be my saving grace. I'm trying to spin this... let me be as delusional I a want!
Ok...well what is not a delusion is the first draft of my 20 page paper due manana! Time to focus...it's carnival time. Well my paper is on the spectacle known as Mardi Gras, too bad analyzing it destroys all happiness surrounding the event. Once you realize the racist undertones, and what a celebration of the elite it is, it's a bit of a buzz kill.
An old friend on campus bumped into me on the steps of the University Center yesterday. She asked what I was doing next year, i.e. post graduation... With not a hint of disdain or sarcasm, I honestly answered, "I have no idea."
She replied, fair enough and laughed. I, however, have now admitted a truth. I have no idea what I'm doing after graduation. More importantly about this conversation, I have now found an answer that relieves me of all duty towards others. All I have to say, is the truth.
Well...the rounded truth. The truth is I'm worried beyond belief. I'm planning on retaking the o-chems and the MCAT, and maybe getting some abroad experience. It all depends on if the cards fall into place. Which as of yet, nothing seems to work. I can't even find work in Tampa.
Now I'm getting bitter. My blood pressure is going up, and all control over rationale is slowly slipping away from me. I feel like a failure. I am lost and nervous. Wondering if my expensive degree (approx. 160k) was worth it. Thinking what more I could have done. At the time I always felt I was putting my best effort forward, Was I?
Is this my fault? Ofcourse it is, you have to take responsibility for your own destiny. But if I accept that, then maybe I was never good enough. Does that invalidate going to an expensive school? Does it free me of the great expectations laid forth, that are now pushing at my cranium from outside and within?
While this rant has taken a slightly dark tone, I'm ok. Ultimately I'm always ok. Life goes on, and I will fit somewhere.
Interesting choice of words for an overweight girl. Hasn't "fitting in" at school, into jeans, with peers, at the bar, on the roller coaster, in the airplane seat... been the great drama of my life?
Who knew Mexico had such a strong emo following? People are so angry they have formed riots to "hunt" the emos down. Now these are people who know how to take care of business. I'm not sure that's the most important business, but it is easily taken care of atleast.
Graduation in less than two months. I don't know what I'm doing with myself. So med school was a bust. I haven't heard from school schools, but I'm not holding my breath. This sucks. Back to Tampa I go. I have no idea what to do.
Maybe I'll go to Mexico City. It looks so interesting, and it's supposed to be a megatropolis. 8.7 million plus residents or something like that. Though I hear the smog is really bad. But it is an ancient city. I forget if it is a valley or a plateau...I'm thinking valley. Anyway, some lovely pictures...
Oh Tina Fay! Great job! I know it is meant to be funny, but it completely makes sense.
I have lots of work to do. My sleep schedule is way off. I am staying up till 4/5/6am, then sleeping 12 hours. This is not a functional schedule! I don't know how to fix it, and it sort of scares me.
Well...biopsych, african art and a paper proposal. Should be a horrible week.
Last week I went to Upperline. It is an amazing restaurant. I wish I could afford to eat there more often! I had duck with a peach ginger sauce, and creme brule. Muy sabrosa!
--From HiFructose Magazine, Brian McCarty...awesome.
Above is how I feel. I'm not angry or upset anymore. I'm not depressed, but I'm not happy. I'm floating. Lost admist all those unidentifiable shapes. I identify with the sachrine colors, the happy sky, the free fall of it. But I also see the dry cracked earth, the creepy little plastic figures, painted so happy, flying free in the breeze. With it, but outside it all. Clearly the meds have made me sentimental. I love art.
This flu has kicked my behind. I slept all day, but at least now I feel like doing work. I am finally getting things accomplished. I only have 3 more readings for my impressionism course. Test on Tuesday. A 10 page paper for African Art... that is super late, but hopefully she will accept it b/c I love her...and I hope she loves me! A biopsychology exam Thursday, and job fair Tuesday. Time to update the old CV...
I have been so sick! Fever, sore throat, horrible cough (with blood...gross I know). I think I'm on the mend, but I just saw on the news that two women in New Orleans just died of the flue. They were between 20-30. Way to freak me out! Apparently they were severe pnemonia cases, cases that were immune to antibiotics. Great. Just skippy.
Had to get a note from the dean for my jerk-off calculus teacher. I'm heaving in front of him, doctor's note in hand and the man won't accept my request to postpone the test. Though now he is willing to drop the grade. Lovely.
I'm a very unhappy sick person. My energy is coming back and hopefully that will be enough to kick butt on the next round of tests.
Got wait listed at Meharry. I still want in!!!! I hope it works out :-)
Lost 3.2 pounds at Weight Watchers. Total of 7.6 thus far. Woot. Woot. Finally a positive!
Also a positive... Kanye's new video. Damn, I love Kanye. When the video is on youtube I'll get it up, in the meantime, here is his performance of MaMa at the Grammy's. One of my favorite songs of his, and he is amazing. I nearly teared up. Damn, I love my mommy!
What an incredible experience! Words can't explain the energy in this room. The feeling and community behind a truly authentic experience. Here is some video that don't come close to explaining the feeling of the practice. The rythmn of everyone around you. The sound and dance. The pounding. It was amazing.
My whole weekend was amazing really. A great potluck dinner with good friends. Went to The Presbetyre, a museum on Mardi Gras with my Caribbean Festival's class. Did Sparta and Pegasus Parades Saturday night. Had a float full of little girls get a flat tire right in front of us. Relaxed most of Sunday and then went to the Indian Practice. One very full weekend. Now I need to put my presentation on the Mardi Gras Indians together!!
My old friend Meagan came into town. She is such a breath of fresh air. I met her new boy friend. Interesting guy. Into theater directing. Ate at Lebanon's. Very good, but not what I thought it would be. I had lamb on a giant bed of hummus.
Then first staff meeting. That seemed to go well, aside from my idiotic self messing up the time. I like the programs they are coming up with! Mardi Gras story telling, Safer Sex in the City, Pancake Breakfast, Cooking class! Go IRBY!
Afterward I met up with Meagan for some drinks. Ended up at St. Joe's on Magazine Street. I was told it was sketchy, but really it was fine. Affordable drinks. Very strong drinks. One rum and diet and I had to switch. So I tried a bloody mary. A-M-A-Z-I-N-G-!
My new love. and they made it with green beans. Lots o-fun. Then we played Catch Phrase before passing out. Great night!
Today it is raining and pouring. It is freezing and miserable. Yay! Potluck dinner tonight.
Also...found these online. Made me happy!
Whoopi. Close up. Jessica Biel as Pocahontas? Look at her legs though! Damn. Close ups!
So I came home from Nashville last night and on my door found... "your alarm clock is OBNOXIOUS" and the obnoxious was underlined twice. Apparently it went off Friday morning. My boss came in and turned it off. Loudest thing he's ever heard. Interesting.
The interview went well. Who knows what that means? I want in really bad. Really really bad. I want Meharry to be my prom date.
It is literally 40 degrees outside. I have to go to Krewe de Vieux for class tonight. It is a politically charged walking parade down in the French Quarter. We'll see if I can get anyone else to brave the elements.
Clacking of high heels and things moving upstairs. Groups of gaggling girls back and forth passing my door. Who am I living amongst? The door decs next store are guy names. So they must be some good looking fellows to have all these lady visitors. I need to investigate! Maybe a basket of cookies?
So...I think nature is trying to stop my weight loss pursuits. Today I am to attend my first Weight Watchers meeting in approximately 5 years. However, there is torrential rain, a flood watch and the temperature is in the 40s. I'm not sure about the nature of the 15 minute walk to the Jewish community center. And if I show up wet won't that skew my weight.... well it is the first meeting, best to add on the layers!
Alright, more updates to come when I'm not so busy! Interview in 2 days!
ps...I LOVE October Road! Loved the sex scene between Eddie and Janet! When I find the full scene, not just the intro, I will put it up. It was so tastefully done and just funny, great energy. I LOVE this show!
Wow am I busy. I feel it is generally going very well. I've had a lot of positive feedback. Now I need a hot shower and some relaxation time before tomorrow's big staff meeting.
Here is a picture to entertain the masses, courtesy of my baby sister. How very 13 years old you might say.
Watching and loving the mid 90's classic The Big Green. Here is the intro. Note the cheetos and birds, and the hot British teacher.
Plus Bug Hall is in it...he's also in Little Rascal's...SO CUTE! see pic above...and I totally thought he was younger than me, not so, he's actually a year older!! hmm....stalk much...hahahaha.
I decided I'm over TFA. Mom agreed they were stupid. Bitter? meeybe....but its ok. Nothing should make me lose track of med school.
Today was such an easy going day. Woke up at 1pm. Watched a PBS special about Andrew Jackson. A fascinating man. Truly a man of the 18th century would aptly describe him in my mind.
Then I took a nap. Vicki came home, Mom came home. Dad called and he's working really really late. Had some pot roast. Treated Mom to a mocha a starbucks, Oh how I love thee! Now it is time to pack.
Asta luego Tampa! Bienvenidos a Neuvo Orleans jueves!
Went to The Rack down in south Tampa. Got way lost on the way there. Mapquest should really be shut down already. Had two Bud Lights, sushi and nachos. Sushi was great. Nachos sort of sucked. LSU beat OSU. Geaux Tigers. Met two boys from Lutz while I was there. Country accent. Hicks all the way. Sweet enough, just a little naive and dumb. One was a soldier back from Iraq. I think he goes back soon. I felt bad for blowing them off. In truth, stupid men just don't work for me. You can be country and not stupid. You don't have to know about fine things or have a large vocabulary to hang with me. You do however need common sense. Something I know and in my desire to be nice often let people slip with. No more. I need to do what is correct for me. It scared me. I would have given one of those boys my number if they had asked. What would we even have spoken about? This is a random picture of a cadet online. I guess it makes me question who we are sending over there. Who are we making our official representatives? I question this kids judgement. I don't question his commitment and sincere beliefs, but we are sending kids out there. America doesn't know how to be an adult.
I didn't get into Teach for America. I don't understand. I thought I had a good interview. I really feel passionate. I thought my presentation was well done. I'm not sure what else it could have been aside from my grades. I'm really upset and disappointed by this. I feel kind of heartbroken. I didn't get into my plan B.
Aside from that bad news, which has been bothering me for some time now, the night was good.
It was great catching up with Vicki. Her friend Julie was nice. She travels all around the country setting up computer systems in hotels. I really need to find a life plan. I have no idea what I'm going to do for myself. What is going to happen if I don't get into med school? I hate this uncertainty. I have spent $160,000 on my education, and I am unhirable.
You can't do anything with a science degree. F* * * I have no idea what I'm going to do. F* * *
Sorry, depression setting in. I thought for sure I'd get in to Teach for America. It was my back up plan!
Moving on I guess. I don't want to tell my mother.
I recently graduated from Tulane University in New Orleans, LA and moved back home to Tampa, FL. These are just my occasional ramblings on work, school, general observations, entertainment, books...really whatever moves me. Please leave feedback and enjoy.
